Holy cow

Wow. I'm pregnant. I am stunned. We tried one last time before the medicated IUI and it took. Did I mention that I'm stunned?

Medicated IUI - Needles. Yuck.

My FSH is still slightly elevated and I have about 8 months left to try to conceive before the ovaries go outta business. Our RE recommended IVF but we've decided to start with a medicated IUI first. With the help of something called Follistim (which I'll inject into my abs for 5 days) and another injection called Ovidrel, my ovaries should produce some viable eggs. Then we'll do the IUI and try to catch one (or two). The sucky thing is that I have a trip planned in the middle and can't really get out of it (brother's big 5-0). Fingers are crossed, but thankfully, the tubes aren't.

Speaking of which, I had one of those evil HSGs. That's where they shoot dye through your cervix to see if your tubes are blocked. Feels like someone is eletrocuting you from the inside. My doctor walked me through the whole thing in his soothing voice, which made it less terrible. But I survived. Yay.

I've heard that you're more likely to conceive after having an HSG, so we're gunna try on our own this week. Couldn't hurt!

Got a new RE

I got a new RE (reproductive endocrinologist) who is very cool. I liked his staff, his office decor (might not sound important, but it is), and he's right down the street. Plus, he's kinda hot. Yes, I know how sick that is. Anyway, unlike Mr. Condescending Asshole from 6 months ago, this one didn't make up any shit like "there's a connection between chronic bronchitis and miscarriages." The new one also didn't make a comment when giving me a pelvic ultrasound like "don't be so sure that everything is fine; I always find something." Also, the receptionist at the new place gave me chocolate and randomly shared some overly personal info with me, so I liked her immediately. But, mostly. And I mean mostly...there was not a single Anne Geddes baby print in sight at the new place. If I never see a baby dressed like bee pollen or a maggot again, I'll be happy.

I know it's been forever, but I'm boring

Happy holidays and stuff. I haven't been posting much because I can't seem to get knocked up and this blog is boring without something like that happening. At least I got an egg this month. But it totally shunned us. Little shit. I'll be trying again next week. Send baby wishes or something similar please.

All Types of Hell Are Breaking Loose

This is the second month in which no egg has displayed on my damn monitor. What gives? On top of that, I've been spotting for a couple of days. I went from having a completely regular cycle to being totally whacked out. I swear I won't be surprised if my ovaries suddenly drop and become testicals. Madness, I tell you. I've been horribly sick for about 2.5 weeks now. Travelling to Mexico for a week while sick was probably not a good idea under these circumstances (though it was darn fun). Maybe my body is sending me little warning signs. Chill the f*ck out already or we're lockin' the eggs up for good. I'll go lay down now just in case.

Cage-free eggs

No egg this month, so we're starting a new cycle today. I had a chat with the ovaries and have given them 13 days to either produce an egg or I'm turning things over to Cheney and Rumsfeld. Nothing like a little shock and awe to get things in order. I'll do whatever it takes. Why? Because I'm on a mission.

Where's my damn egg?

Excuse me, but I ordered an egg like 10 days ago...

It looks like I didn't ovulate this month. Mother Nature is a twat. I used like 20 of those damn expensive Clearblue sticks. For those fiscal conservatives, that's like $25. And for what? Lots of "Lows" followed by lots of "Highs" and no damn "Peaks" at all. What a rip. I'm told that it could be stress from the move (or other stuff), which is understandable. But, isn't that a little picky? I mean, if the egg isn't released, it's not like it gets to hang loose in the ovary for another month. It just dissolves. Or whatever. The egg had best show itself next month or I'm going in after it.

Delayed ovulation

My eggs are wimps. Apparently stress is preventing me from ovulating on time this month. I was hoping that it would radically change my schedule so that I wouldn't have to miss my next few attempts, but I'm not sure that I'll luck out. We'll see.

No one pissed me off today

No one pissed me off today because: a) I stayed home most of the day, and 2) The Red Sox didn't play. I got a "high" reading on my fertility monitor. So, at this point, it needs to stay "High" and not go to "Peak" until my co-parent gets back from his trip. We shall see.

I'm annoyed

I'm annoyed today. First, for the first time that I ever recall, ovulation is delayed. It could be stress-related because I just moved across the country. But I'm pissed because I can't try the next two cycles because of scheduling problems. Second, everyone is getting on my damn nerves. And, no, it's not PMS. It's because people suck. Follow...

I just moved into a new apartment where I had to pay a $1200 deposit. Two days later, my first month's rent was due. I paid promptly, placing the envelope directly into a slot in the office door that read "Rent Drop." Two days later, I received a note on my door from an attorney on behalf of the complex telling me that they were starting eviction procedures. Long story short, they lost my envelope somehow. But wouldn't you double-check with a new tenant before sending a mean note. (And this is a fancy complex.)

Second data point: I walked by to check my mail today, and the mailman was there filling up mailboxes. I said "Oh, I'll come back." And he asks me, "Are you new?" I said, "Yes. " Then he hands me a flyer and says "You must not have gotten one of these." The flyer reads, "Please don't interrupt the mailman when he's filling the mailboxes." Passive aggressive, maybe? Had I not been so taken aback, I would have returned a stinging response. F*cker. Instead, I said, "Well, I'll leave so you don't go...oh, nevermind." I think he didn't catch that though.

Third data point: I got a statement from my old apartment complex notifying me that my $600 deposit EXACTLY covered all of the "repair" and "cleaning" work they had to do when we moved out. I will never spend a full day cleaning the floor on my hands and knees to get a deposit back. I will also never rent a steam cleaner (twice) during my last two weeks to make sure the carpet is in top condition. I think they planned to keep the whole amount the whole time. F*ckers.

I'm out of patience for the rest of the day. I'm not taking anymore shit from anyone--especially until I see a big ol fat egg on my fertility monitor. And, the Red Sox better win today too.

Dang luteal phase change

I'm not pregnant. My luteal phase increased to the average 14 days. So, I wasn't really a day late. I was a dollar short. (Sorry.) It was sooooo close though. Mother Nature is one wicked beyotch.

This is scary

Okay, I'm scared. I'm at 13 dpo, and my average luteal phase is 12 days. Either my average is wrong and my cycle is trying to become normal (14 days is a "normal" luteal phase), or I'm pregnant. I really don't feel pregnant though. First, I took a preg test yesterday and it was negative. Also, my breasts don't hurt at all (which is strange because they usually do before I start my period). I know my temps will come crashing down tomorrow and I'll start my period immediately. But coming this close is just brutal.

I'm 8 DPO

I'm at 8 DPO (that's days passed ovulation). Fascinating, huh? It sucks when you crave beer and you don't know if you're allowed to have it. I guess I'll skip it for now. I'm like 7 8-oz glasses of water shy for the day, anyway.

I'm thinking that one day they'll have pregnancy tests that work, like, the next day. That would be so nice. Some people say they know exactly when they conceived, but I think they're full of shit. First, it takes hours for the sperm to reach the egg. Second, so you feel cells dividing? What was that? Oh, I just felt my skin growing. Nope, I don't think so.

This blog must be so boring: Oh, I'm trying to conceive today. Oh, I'm waiting to see if I conceived today. I'll try to throw in some excitement soon. I'm going to Idaho and Montana for a few days and will probably do a pregancy test there (if it makes sense to). It would be cool to find out that you're knocked up while on a road trip. We'll see...

Round 3 Has Begun

I just finished Round 3 of insemination attempts. I'm now entering that two week period where I make up excuses to overeat and not exercise (baby needs food; don't hurt the baby by bouncing around). Somehow, though, the baby needs beer. Go figure. Now don't think I'm terrible. You can drink a beer before implantation. The cell is just dividing (if it's fertilized).

Positive Thoughts

I feel terrible watching the news and seeing people who are stranded in New Orleans--especially the old people and the people with babies. I can't imagine how I'd feel if I wasn't able to get food or water for my parents or child during a crisis like that. It's just awful. So, today, I feel it would be obnoxious to talk about wanting to have a baby. I think I'll spend my positive thoughts/hopes on other people today.

Let's Go Already!

I've got severe PMS and am frustrated about the wait. I know it's gunna start, so start already.

By the way, I refuse to refer to my period as Aunt Flow (or AF as they call it in the Fertility message boards). That's gross. The people on message boards also call semen and the act of having sex (or insemination) "baby dust." Um, no. I do not need to start using cute words to describe reproduction. No wonder so many couples experience stress while trying to conceive--everything suddenly gets either very clinical or way too cute. (I go for clinical.) After this baby exercise, I'm going to have to go back to using this area of my body for fun; that won't be possible if all I can think about is little angels spreading fairy dust when I'm getting my groove on.

So, what was I saying. Oh, yeah. Let's get going. I'm ready to start on month #3.

Temp Dropped :-(

Oh, my temp dropped today, which means that I will probably start my period in a couple of days. Gearing up for next month...

No News Is No News

I'm still in that dreaded two-weeks-passed-ovulation period. This month, I don't feel pregnant at all. In fact, I'm craving chocolate and I'm kinda irritable, so I think that means I'm having PMS. Four more days until I know for sure...

Starting Week Two - Again

This Sunday marks the start of Week 2 of waiting. I did much better during my Week 1 this time because I forced myself to chill out a bit. The second week is the hardest though. I hope it goes by quickly.

I have no business being a parent

While organizing my files today, I found my prescription receipt for some eye drops from last year. I totally forgot that I had conjunctivitis. Imagine my horror when I discovered that for the past two weeks, I've been giving my cats MY eye drops; not her's. Nice. I apparently can't tell the difference between human and feline meds. I'll probably accidentally have my infant declawed.